What I do to ease the pain

Posted on | December 12, 2008 | 2 Comments

Wednesday night, I found myself without words to describe how I was feeling about Lucky’s death.  I felt sad with fits of jagged crying.  I felt fragile as if I didn’t want anyone to talk to me or look at me.  But I also felt like I didn’t want to feel like this forever.  I do not want to hold Lucky’s spirit to me too tightly, which would be good for neither of us. Yet I don’t want to forget, either.

So, I did what I do best and created an altar to speak for my pain, my loving memories, and my hopes for myself and for Lucky’s spirit.  To my normal working altar, I added a blue candle in the center, aframed image of the Star Goddess on the left, a bronze cat bookmark, and a framed image of Sehkmet on the right.

Far left is the Death card from the Gaian Tarot. Where I was at the time: greiving for the physical death of Lucky. But I also liked the sparkling water to remind myself of the beauty of life that continues.

Inner left column: Ace of Cups and Five of Pentacles from Robin Wood’s Tarot. The unending flow of love from the Goddess pours down to this realm. As it touches the icy sphere around me, it turns into snow. The little snowflake above the upreaching hand of the woman is that love coming down to me, even though right now I feel shut out.

Middle column: Death and Universe cards from the World Spirit deck. The spirit is released upon physical death to merge again with the universe — the dancing star goddess.

Inner right column: The Sun  and Queen of Wands cards from the Robin Wood deck. The joyful energy of the Sun shines down onto my memories of me and Lucky (the little black cat in the skirt of the Queen). This is the feeling I want when I remember him.

Right: Strength card from Gaian Tarot. What I want to gain — strength from going through this process of loss and healing. And I think about how my cat has been transformed into a strong lion in spirit.

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