Some months back, a good friend Hecate posted about personal responsibility.

How do you live as a woman of integrity in these times? Where’s the balance between private action and civil action? To what extent is it going to be OK with my ancestors if I show up in the Summerlands and say, well, hell, I was doing the best that I could, given how little impact one woman was likely to make in any event? I planted herbs and spread poems and was kind to everyone I encountered? I spent a long time earning that law degree and getting that job and why should I have had to give all that up just because other people were evil?

A witch takes responsibility. What is my responsibility in these times? It’s not that difficult to take responsibility. It’s more difficult to figure out what responsibility to take.

This, along with stories coming out about the “witch” children of Nigeria and the Democratic Republic of Congo, has me wanting to do something. I took the first steps this week– beginning to think about my intent in this blog and emailing the folks at Stepping Stones Nigeria.

I have gotten some supportive responses from friends here and elsewhere, and I received a wonderful email from Gary Foxcroft, the founder of Stepping Stones Nigeria, in which he wrote: Having read about your group [Becoming] and beliefs it is especially interesting for us to hear from members of different spiritual communities….Ultimately we believe in the power of intention and of serving humanity, which is what took us to Nigeria in the first place.

Rather than feeling helpless, I am beginning to feel hopeful. I am setting my personal goal of service: knitting 10 bears and raising $5000. That would be $500 per bear. I would need 25 people to pledge $20 per bear or 50 people to pledge $10 per bear. Of course, if someone could only pledge a few dollars per bear, or a set amount for just one bear, that would be okay too.

I’m still working out the details for myself, then I will post the information for other knitters to use to do the same.

There was an amazing exhibit at the US Botanic Garden, titled sLow Life, that featured time-lapse photos and videos showing how plants move and respond to their environment, when from our human perspective plants are relatively static. This got me thinking about how our perspective really determines our experience of the world.

So much of what we “know” depends upon our perspective. How we sense the world, our position in space, time, and the social structure, our beliefs, our past experiences – all contribute to our unique perspective. It is amazing that two people can even communicate at all. Often we can’t. Even in mundane, trivial discussions we use language in idiosyncratic ways. These differences in definition and connotation are unspoken, and we think that we understand each other, but we don’t. Or we may think we disagree, but find upon further examination of our assumptions and definitions that we actually agree.

At the risk of going political, Pagans see Jews, Christians, and Muslims as more alike than not – all followers of the Abrahamic god. But from their perspectives, they are completely different. Just as they see Pagans as essentially the same, but we see the differences within our community between traditions and paths.

So, I have to ask: Is the War of Terror just one big Witch War writ large on the global theater instead of in an Internet list serve? You know, we’ve all seen it – two people (or more) just go out of control and flame each other, draw more people into the fight, and thereby destroy the very community they claim to want to save.

So, let’s ask ourselves “Who is the troll?” Or more correctly “Who are the trolls?” I see people on both sides doing and saying things to enflame other folks who could work together if they were encouraged and guided to do so. No, these trolls only look for ways to divide and sow mistrust and anger. Just your classic flame war.

I also believe there are people on both sides who truly want to find solutions. Their voices are quieter, drowned out by trolls and the angry mob. Maybe they don’t know how to work together, but they are struggling in the quagmire caused by the trolls.

Then there are those who don’t care and finally just get so frustrated at the media circus of sound bites and shield beating that they withdraw. They leave the community to live out their lives without reading the news or participating in the attempts to change. They are the silent and they are the majority. But their silence does them no good. For they live in the same world we all do. There is no escape.

Why are the trolls so damn loud?

Why do we listen to them?

Is there something in the nature of our species that finds it so easy to dehumanize and demonize another if someone tells us to do so long enough and loud enough?

It is one of my hopes with Becoming that we not only learn and say that the divine abounds everywhere, but that we live that truth and begin to actively and consciously look for the divine spark in all people. That we take that perspective into our daily lives and dealings with others. We may not like how others act or react. We may not agree with them. We may have to “draw the line” to protect ourselves and others. But keeping in mind that they are just as divine as we are helps us to not dismiss them as “just assholes” or demonize them, but to deal with them consciously, to try to understand what their perspective is, and to act from a place of understanding rather than anger and fear.

Because when I consciously look for the divine spark in others, I find it in myself. And when I demonize or dehumanize others and deny that they also have the divine within them, I lose connection with the divine within me.

We are all of us human and we are all of us divine.

The first thing you learn in the Pagan community is that nothing is ever straightforward or, gods forbid, easy. After learning the maxims “Question everything” and “Create your own reality,” you begin to wonder where this creating and questioning will eventually lead.

Take the subject of ethics. Many folks, especially those within Wiccan traditions, will likely quote the Rede (yes, folks, that’s always a capital “R”) or at least, the last line “An it harm none, you what thou will.” That sure leaves the door wide open for all sorts of actions, reactions, and interpretations! It may seem at first glance that Pagans are a pretty lax and hedonistic bunch (and I can’t deny that to a certain extent). Our ethics, however, are not as simple as those eight words would make it seem. Not to mention the fact that there are many Pagans who do not consider themselves Wiccan, thank you very much.

I am one of those. We are a motley lot, honor bound to uphold some type of ethical behavior to our fellow living creations and the earth on which we live. Yet we do not have a standard that we can all agree upon. And so, with our two touchstone maxims in hand and in mind, each of us begins to examine our lives, reflect upon our values, consult our history books, and chat with our gods to create our own thoughtful code of ethics. I went through this process about a year ago and created my Ethical Foundations for general life situations and Ethical Guidelines for my work as Pagan clergy.

You would think that living according to one’s self-created ethical code is easy. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Ethical behavior, by its very nature, demands something more of us: that we be thoughtful of our actions. We create a code to remind us to do the “right” thing during those moments when we would either prefer to do the “wrong” thing, or just not think about what we are doing at all. Recently I have found myself reviewing my statement of ethics to remind myself of the way I have said I want to live and act. I am thankful I have taken the time to reflect upon and write down the guidelines by which I want to live my life because know that it has stopped me from doing things that, while they would have been evilly delicious at that moment, would have gone against the person I truly want to be.

But what happens when ethics collide? I’m not talking about when your code disagrees with someone else’s, but when two or more parts of your code are brought into conflict in a particular situation. How do you decide which standard takes priority? How do you decide what action to take? Which is “right” and which is “wrong”? What is the ethical course to take?

There is no cut-and-dried, easy, “either/or” answer to these questions within the realm of contemporary Western Paganism. Everything is a delicate balance. We actually have to weigh the conflicting values we hold and view them through the context of the situation we are faced with. Once we make a decision and act, we must be willing to take responsibility for whatever consequences fall upon us. But this is the same for any action - conflicted ethics or not.

To illustrate my point: I carry a secret that was entrusted to me many years ago by someone very close to my heart. This secret may be the defining ethical decision of my life for I do not endorse the activity of which I know through the secret. Before we go any further, I should clarify that this secret does not hide any illegal actions, nor could one argue that anyone was harmed by the activity to which I refer - there was no stealing, no physical or mental abuse.

One of the ethical foundations I adhere to is honesty and integrity:

“I seek to deal with others in an open and honest manner, to not participate in the manipulation or deception of others or myself, and to express myself, my beliefs, and practices with a sound and whole character.”

I find this particular secret too ethically gray for my taste - it is laced with deception about who and what one is. It feels like lying and I don’t lie about important things (I am not counting the occasional tall tale or polite white lie here). Keeping this secret is sometimes unbearable, and I wish the other person would stop so that the secret could become a thing of the past.

However, I understand the motivations of the person who engages in the secret’s activity. Part of my ethics is seeing with both eyes, “to remember that each individual embodies multiple dimensions, that everyone has the potential to do good and ill, and that all stories have multiple perspectives.” I understand the subtleties of intent when contemplating ethical action. Also I seek to have empathy, “to understand the situations, feelings, and motives of others, to act in accordance to this understanding, and to not unfairly judge others without this empathic consideration.” I seek to remember that my own view is tunnel vision when compared to the wide range of reality. My way of seeing things is only a way, not the way.

I get it! But I don’t like it.

So what’s stopping me from not keeping the secret? Why not unburden myself? If I don’t agree with the activity, why continue in the deception myself?

Here’s where the real ethical conflict raises its ugly head. I also have an ethical foundation of commitment:

“I seek to fulfill any commitments I make and to not make any commitments that I cannot fulfill.”

I made a commitment to keep this secret when told to me. I also have a personal commitment of loyalty to the person who entrusted me with the secret. I would do nothing to sully this person’s reputation. Heck, I won’t even tell my therapist!

So what do I do in such a situation, in which part of my ethics outweighs the other - stay loyal and keep my word and the secret, or be honest and not hide the secret? It is here where I understand that ethics are not absolute; at least, not for me. But before I resign myself to the idea that ethics are of no help and decide to throw them out completely, I remember my last ethical foundation and the only one that can guide me through this situation: personal responsibility.

“I seek to take full responsibility for my actions and to be accountable for the consequences of my actions; therefore, I seek to always think before I act.”

Whether I keep the secret or tell it to the world, I am responsible for my part in the consequences. Nothing releases me from that hard, cold fact of reality. It is not really comforting, but I don’t think that ethics are supposed to be easy or comforting. Ethics make us think about those places in life that are not clear-cut. They make use weigh our actions and make tough decisions.

They make us question everything and create our own reality. As a good little Pagans should.

Blessings from a full heart

The following statements serve to guide me as I work with others in a ministerial/spiritual capacity to help ensure that my actions in such a position of trust are ethical and respectful.

Working for the Good
I shall conduct myself in ways that respect the common good, with due regard for public safety, health, and order. I shall use special care to help direct the energies of those I serve, as well as my own, in responsible ways that reflect a loving regard for all life.

I shall seek to represent the best interests of those I serve.

I shall affirm the religious and spiritual freedom of all persons

I shall demonstrate respect for the opinions, beliefs and professional endeavors of my colleagues.

I shall make referrals or obtain consultations when it is in the best interests of those I serve and I shall maintain interdisciplinary and inter-professional relationships to foster these practices.

I shall discuss any costs associated with my services in an upfront manner with those I serve. However, I shall not withhold my ministerial and community services strictly because an individual or organization does not have the ability to pay or make donations.

Non-malfeasance
I shall not knowingly use or permit others to use my services or my influence to secure unfair, harmful, or exploitive personal or professional advantage over others.

I shall take responsible action when I become aware that I am physically, emotionally or spiritually unable to provide competent, caring, and ethical services.

I shall serve all persons without discrimination regardless of religion, faith group, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, age, or disability.

I shall refrain from imposing doctrinal positions or spiritual practices on those I serve.

Multiple relationships
I shall endeavor to be aware of the influence my position as clergy has on my intimate, social, teaching or financial relations with people within my faith community.

I shall openly discuss the impact of multiple relationships with those with whom I may have these relations.

I shall not enter into intimate or financial relations people that I have served through extended pastoral counseling, nor shall I enter into an extended counseling relationship with a person with whom I currently have intimate or financial relations.

Informed Consent
I shall disclose to those I serve any elements of our spiritual work together that may be unfamiliar, or that could reasonably be seen as presenting physical or psychological risks.

I shall openly affirm that participation in any religious practice, spiritual work, or consultation must be voluntary on the part of those I serve

I shall disclose my professional and personal boundaries, competencies and ethics to those I serve at a level appropriate to the service provided.

Confidentiality
I shall hold conversations between individuals and myself I serve as confidential unless to do so would directly endanger the safety and well being of themselves, other individuals, or the common good.

I shall refrain from relating experiences that expose the vulnerabilities of the people I serve or their families to derision or ridicule.

I shall seek to guard the identities of those served in any consultations, presentations or publications unless the person served, or their family if the person cannot give consent, has given me written permission for disclosure of the relationship.

I shall respect the private communications of colleagues unless to do so would violate the safety and well being of others or be in conflict with the laws or policies of the state.

Connections and Growth
I shall accurately represent my professional qualifications and affiliations to those I serve and the greater community.

I shall maintain and nurture an active relationship and good standing within my local Pagan community.

I shall pursue ongoing personal growth and professional development in theology, spirituality, pastoral skills, and other areas that enhance my professional proficiency.

I shall endeavor to nurture my personal relationship with my Gods and maintain an awareness of the ebb and flow of the universe.

Blessings from a full heart.

The following principles serve as a foundation for my personal life path and my interactions with others and the world around me. Because no one is perfect and we are all learning how to live as we go, I frame my language in terms of goals, rather than attainments.

The lowest common denominator is also the highest.
We are each of us human.
We are each of us divine.

Seeing with both eyes
I seek to view the world in a balanced way, to remember that each individual embodies multiple dimensions, that everyone has the potential to do good and ill, and that all stories have multiple perspectives.

Respect
I seek to treat others with common decency, to show consideration and appreciation for the strengths and vulnerabilities of others, to acknowledge the divine within each person, and to uphold the individual’s autonomy and dignity.

Empathy
I seek to understand the situations, feelings, and motives of others, to act in accordance to this understanding, and to not unfairly judge others without this empathic consideration.

Honesty & Integrity
I seek to deal with others in an open and honest manner, to not participate in the manipulation or deception of others or myself, and to express myself, my beliefs and practices with a sound and whole character.

Commitment
I seek to fulfill any commitments I make and to not make any commitments that I cannot fulfill. I commit myself to live my life fully, to honor my ancestors and the Gods of my people, to aid those I can, and to better my community.

Personal responsibility
I seek to take full responsibility for my actions and to be accountable for the consequences of my actions; therefore, I seek to always think before I act.

Mutuality
I seek to establish and maintain harmonious relationships with others, to make connections that foster love and compassion, and to commune with the divine within myself and within others. Such relationships are built on mutual trust and respect. I will not force such relationship on others, nor force myself to continue in relationships where these elements are not present.

Blessings from a full heart.