I have a hard time with goals. I often feel indecisive about formally writing anything down out of fear. Fear of failing. Fear of changing my mind — yet again. Fear that I may miss a great opportunity. Fear of being constrained. I am continuing amazed that I actually get anything done because I have this aversion to “putting it down on paper.”
But I do. Funny that…
But lately, I have felt blown about by the winds. Not sure which way to turn, which path to trod, which choices to pick on the buffet of life. So, I decided to try this goal thing this year, after reading a bunch of wonderful blog posts and talking with my BFF, Ketzirah.
- Finish the three paintings that have been knocking on my mental door for a while.
- Learn a new jewelry making technique.
- Embellish my Touch Drawings from the Gathering to show at Artomatic.
Community (In addition to the regular commitments I have, I want to do these very specific things.)
- Increase enrollment for Reflections classes by 50%.
- Find a year-round location for Becoming monthly circles that meets our needs and is within our budget.
- Offer 5 Touch Drawings sessions in Baltimore and DC each.
Career (I have been hiding at my job over the last 2 years. I want to shine again, feel confident, and enjoy my work.)
- Coordinate an interpretive writing workshop for SI writers featuring an outside speaker.
- Focus on being present in my work and enjoying my work everyday.
- Put together a literature review, standards, and guidelines on interpretive writing for my museum.
Family and Friends
- Go out with friends at least once a month.
- Entertain friends–as a couple– at least once a month.
- Go out with my husband on a date night at least twice a month.
- Pay off 50% of my personal loan, and 25% of my personal credit card debt.
- Save any extra money coming in from art sales or workshops toward. . . (I’m really starting to feel fear creep in on these goals.) buying a hot tub.
Health (I started Weight Watchers in July and have lost 48 pounds. I am feeling great and want to continue toward looking and feeling HAWT at 40.)
- Lose 45 pounds by my 40th birthday.
- Run a 5K race.
- Have my current list of improvements done by July 1, 2010.
- Design back patio w/ hot tub.
- Deepen my relationship and understanding of Hanuman.
- Deepen my conscious relationship with my animus.
- Step forward to meet my growing edge and to keep my eyes open to my work and my worth in the world.
- To trust in myself and that voice that wells up from within and beyond.
And that brings me to my word for 2010: TRUST.
Trust in myself. Trust that if I trust myself that things will work out fine. Trust that I will make good decisions. Trust that I am shiny. Trust that I do bring value to the work that I do.
And if at the end of the year, I am able to trust myself and the universe more, then I will count this year as a success.
Much love and many blessings from an open and strong heart,
photo: The Star Goddess Dances the Universe into Creation, digital collage by Angela Raincatcher