Monthly Archives: November 2007

Physical Love

This morning as I was dressing, I looked in the mirror at the exact wrong angle. Ugh! I am disgustingly fat, I thought to myself. Immediately, that other voice in my head said, That doesn’t help. I don’t know that I can love my body right now, but at least I can be thankful for the things it does for me. Maybe we can work ourselves up to love.

I give thanks to my feet, which plant me securely to the earth and give me balance.
I give thanks to my legs, which support me and move me around.
I give thanks to my genitals, which give me such pleasure.
I give thanks to my bladder and colon, which eliminate waste I don’t need.
I give thanks to my digestive system, which process food into energy.
I give thanks to my lungs, which take in air.
I give thanks to my heart, which strongly pumps my blood through my body.
I give thanks to my breasts, which cushion my husband’s head in sleep.
I give thanks to my arms, which reach out to interact with the world.
I give thanks to my hands and fingers, with which I create and manifest.
I give thanks to my shoulders, which bear many burdens.
I give thanks to my spine, which holds me upright.
I give thanks to my throat, which allows me to speak.
I give thanks to my mouth, tongue, and teeth, which eat the foods I need and makes them taste good.
I give thanks to my ears, nose, and eyes, which allow me to take in information about the world.
I give thanks to my brain, which thinks and remembers and feels.
I give thanks for my skin, which protects me from harm.
I give thanks to my bones, which support me and give me structure.
I give thanks to my face, which is so expressive.
I give thanks to my hair, which is full and healthy.
I give thanks to my entire body, through which I live, move, act, and express myself in this world around me.
Blessed be my body.

Evil laptop

Sometimes I think my laptop is evil.  Some of the keys and the touch pad are so sensitive that it will publish before I am ready to publish!  Argh!  So, my latest post published and was sent out via RSS feed before it was actually finished, and the ending made no sense.  I have now corrected that.  My apologies.

Reflections on Samhain

Becoming’s Samhain ritual was Saturday evening. This year we did the biennial Journey to the Otherworld. Every time we do this ritual I learn new things about myself, my abilities, the people I work with, and what’s weighing in the hearts and minds of those who journey through.

This year, a core group began preparing for this ritual about six months in advance. We met at the Full Moons to begin connecting more closely with each other, allowing the spirit of the group show us how the ritual would shape up, and planning the logistics. This year was different for me as I opened the process of discovery up to others in the group and released control over every little detail. I had to trust in others more than I have previously — trust that the small, still “voice” would be there to guide me and the others, trust that others would open themselves to the process of discovery and connection, trust that I had the skills, experience, and talent to shepherd the process as a priestess, trust that I could step out of the way and allow the “voice” of Becoming to speak through me. At times, it was the most natural, wonderful feeling; at others, it was one of the most frightening things I have done.

Back in the early part of this year, I set my intent and did magic to call a temple for Becoming into existence. At the time, I was assuming a physical space and did not specify that in my working. What seemed like an oops! was really fortunate for how the Samhain ritual developed. I realized after the ritual team had been meeting for a few months that we were building a temple — an astral temple and the core energy to guide and focus the work of the larger group of Becoming. It is this temple that we manifested before the public arrived and through which the journeyers moved.

For the ritual, our Steward and I embodied this central core energy of Becoming, our part within the web of life and light, a connection and channel to the Heart of the Universe, envisioned for this ritual as the Oracle. I’m not sure where on the spectrum between light trance and full aspecting we were, probably somewhere along drawing down, where you step out of the way, allow the energy to envelop you, and inspire your speech. I can’t speak for the other, but I was never completely aware or unaware, but I felt our individual energies combine into one flow up our spines and chakras. I also felt that it was not me speaking — I was a channel for the group mind or group heart of Becoming. I was so full of the love of the Heart of the Universe, which is how we tend to speak of the Divine (capital D in addition to individual’s relationship with specific gods and goddesses).

While I don’t remember specific questions or needs, I do remember the overall flavor of what journeyers were seeking that night. Mostly meaning and direction. What is the meaning of my life? Am I on the right path? What is my path? Should I take the path that calls to me? How can I be less afraid in my journey? How can I find certainty and peace?

Here is what I remember the Oracle saying: If you are breathing, you are certainly alive. If you are human, you will certainly die. If you are alive, then you can make choices and do something. If your feet are moving, then you are walking your path. Even if it is dark and scary, you are still walking your path. If you are not sure which way to go, stop and listen to your heart. Which option sings to you? Follow that. If you are looking for peace, take a deep breath. Find the moment of peace within that breath. Continue to breath with attention, and you will notice that moment stretching through time. Strength lies in your heart. Tears, family, joy, and fellow journeyers are precious and will support you. Keep breathing and know that you are alive and can act in this world.

Maybe it seems basic, but simple is not necessarily easy, or easy to remember when we get caught in the fears and pains of daily life. I don’t think there are hard and fast answers beyond these anyway. Holding hands, touching hearts, acting in truth and love, breathing together.

And of course, if you want a bit of absurdity about the whole “meaning of life” question, there’s always Mr. Deity.

More artwork

These first two (Bridghid on the left, Inanna on the right) were done in August of this year. I just realized that I hadn’t posted them yet.

Bridghid Inanna

These are two version of Kether. I’m like the one with the more glowing background, but like the embryo of the other better. I haven’t figured out how to get the just the right affect yet.

Kether 2 Kether 1

As always, I’d love to hear what you think, and what insights/thoughts are sparked by these images.