I Am One Who pulls you down into a whirlpool of despair and doubts. One little thought is all I need to spin around and around in your head until you cannot think of anything else but your pain. Shadowy hands grab at your heart and pull it apart. A fist grabs around your throat. You cannot speak. You cannot think. You can only cry out in pain, choking until your eyes burst from crying and your heart breaks from your despair.
THE STAR GODDESS
I Am One Who dances the universe into creation. I am full of the energy of potential too large to be contained within a small hot core. I am the snake that squeezes the juice out of life. The energies of the stars, galaxies, course through me and swirl around me. I am the cosmos birthing, turning, burning, dying. I am the yearning of the heart when you look up at the night sky full of diamonds.
I Am One Who reflects the beauty of the universe back to itself. I am the Beloved. I am the dark mirror. I am who comes to you in scrying and crying into the night; I wrap my arms around you in passion and comfort. I am the dark expanse of space. I call you to reach out to me, for in doing so, you touch your authentic self. Find me in the corner of your eye and hear my siren song calling your soul home.
I Am One Who watches over the land and the creatures of the earth. I take care of all who live in this realm. I provide for the tribe; you eat at my table. I know the backways through the wildwood. I feel the seeds growing the soil under my feet. I call you to nurture the present to feed your future. I call you to care for the brothers and sister with whom you share this earth.
In many ways, Hagrid embodies the Steward, and the Dagda, in modern popular culture. He is stronger than he knows. He lives on the fringes and cares for all those necessary aspects of life that most of us “civilized” people who rather not dirty our hands with. He could be easily dismissed as a buffoon, but he has more hands-on, practical understanding of animals and the forbidden forest than anyone, He builds a rapport with the magical creatures by meeting them on their own turf on their own terms. He expertly journeys into the depths of the forbidden forest, knowing full well its dangers, not to brag, but to do the job with which he has been tasked. Hagrid may not be the most eloquent or refined of men or wizards, but his heart is true, and his love deep.
SHE WHO SEES
I Am One Who peers through the peephole and sees the secrets that others try to hide. I am curious as to what happens behind closed doors that they don’t want anyone to see. Curiosity killed the cat, but I just want to know what is going on. I have learned to not ask about what I see nor to tell your secrets.
A close friend loaned me a book titled Soul Collage, which discusses how to make your own personal reflection divination tool using collage and the framework of four suits: the Committee, Community, the Council, and Companions.
The images in the book are amazing and inspiring — in fact, my dreams over these last two nights have contained many visions of what my own cards might look like.
As I read the chapter on the Committee, which represents different personalities/aspects of one’s self, I spontaneously began listing my own Committee.
My Committee so far:
- Sloth woman
- Forgetful girl
- The Dominator
- The Celebrant
- Silly Balm
- Mother Hen
- Little Girl with Big Voice
- She Who Sees
- The Different Child
- Cornered Animal
- Miss Know-It-All
- Healing Lover
- Thinker of Big Ideas
- The Good Student
- Should I or Shouldn’t I?
- The Whirlpool of Despair
- The Locked Coffer
- The Commentator
- Jilted Lover
SLOTH WOMAN — I am One Who drags you down and away from all that you say you want to do. I pull you into mindlessness and time creeps by as you watch with glazed eyes. Like gravity, there is no fighting me. You have to sleep or do nothing right now…whether you want to or not.
This card is definitely a shadow discovered over the last couple of days. And in writing the above, I think I found the gold — rest. Now, the choice is mine to honor this voice at the table and rest before I get wiped out completely, or resist it, throwing it back in shadowland and getting sucked into the black hole of sloth.